By M.H. Uyghur
9.4.2018 Hyvinkää, Finland
There are 30 various definition of “love” in urban dictionary, some I agree some I don’t. I want to share my version of the definition. I am happily married for 8 years this year, I met my wife for the first time online, while she was studying international business in Poland. She was my best friends internet friend, he introduce her to me and we start to chat on internet. At first, I thought she was same as other vulgar and shallow girls, so I didn’t take it very seriously. She looks very good, can say she is very beautiful, charming and hot. I admit her beautiful face makes me think she is shallow, because in my old opinion nowadays more girls beautiful more she is shallow and arrogant. Fortunately I was wrong, more we talk, more I understand her, more I understand her, more I get passion toward her. Her appearance attracts me physically, but her spirit gradually make me love her. We got married soon after she came to Finland and we start our marriage life. We have got through difficulties and depressions together one after another. She was the beautiful lady whom I love, now she is not amature lady, she is the queen of my family, emotional and spiritual supporter of me and our beautiful daughters.
We started our family from a 30 square metres (323 square feet) apartment, it was small, but we have lots of sweet memories there, we lived there until we bought our first flat. We both was not good at cooking, but we eager to learn. Once we try to cook laghman, the Uyghur style noodle, we had never made it by ourself. We didn’t know what kind of flour to use for dough, in accident we used the flours which contains yeast, then the noodle we prepared became French loaf, not baked but boiled, ha-ha. The other time we try to make Uyghur style bread, we mixed the flour with egg, milk and butter, we didn’t know the dough will swell many times bigger after fermentation, accidentally we made enough bread for us to eat for over a month. The bit by bit details in life have brought us more closer together, year after year we share more and more common memories, I think those common memories are the milestones of our love, those are the monument of our emotional ans spiritual structures. Sometimes we have quarrelled, annoyed and weary of each other, but all those are flavour that gives taste to our common memories, because of those we understand each other better and learn to respect.
The word “love” in Uyghur turkish say “yaxshi körmek, söymek, muhabbet and ashq” , literally they all have different meaning, but all refer to “love”. “Yaxshi” means good, körmek means “see”, so “yaxshi körmek” literally means see someone is good. “Söymek” means rejoice, adore. Muhabbet is adepted from arabic, means charity, affection. “ashq” is old turkic word, it means passion, amour, gallentry and adoration. If you want to say “I love you” there are many ways to say the word in Uyghur, most common way is “sizni yaxshi körimen” , literally it means “ I see you good”; or “Men sizni söyimen” means “I rejoice/ adore you”; or “men sizge ashq” means “ I have passion toward you”. Unfortunately those expressions are not enough to describe “love”. I speak five different language, I admit my language skills are not enough to interpret and give
definition. If you need to express your feeling to someone, never try to use something can not represent your feeling, most importantly, be brave, sincere and be yourself. You don’t need great speech to tell someone about your feeling. Look at her/his eyes, let him/her feel you. Give him/her a chance, so you earn a chance to yourself; by looking someone’s outside will never awaken your deep feeling, lust and physical hunger is not love, it is temporary desire or temptation. Uyghur people say “Köymekten könmek yaman”, which mean is “knowing is the best passion”.
Love is something gifted to humanity from somewhere above. If love is about relationships, we are like a prey wondering in the forest without knowing when will be hunted. It is a beautiful and scary thing to be hunted, you never know who is your hunter. Love is not about owning, it is more about giving and caring. Wish you all have passionate and loyal love.